The ugly duck

“You should lose some weight dear” 

“You look fat in that dress” 

“Hey fatty”

“Lol look at this ugly face”

“Wow your friends are so sexy”

“Yeah you look OK dear” 

These are the comment she heard throughout her life . She was silent. Actually she silently sighed . Every night she cried herself to sleep. Every morning she stared at mirror . She hesitated to wear the sexy swimsuit she was dreaming to wear. She didn’t buy that mini dress she was willing to buy because she didn’t want to be heard “oh you’re fat ,mini dresses don’t suit you” . She gave up wearing shorts . She decided to wear baggies which made her look more matured. Then people said “you look so matured” “damn are you still 21? I thought you are 30″ …..

No matter what she wore people had something to tell her. She didn’t feel special. She gave up shopping , which was her favourite habit.  She was craving to be heard ” girl you look nice” “I like your smile it makes you pretty “.  Instead she had to hear “You got double chin ” , “Hey Don’t wear tight shirts you have ugly back fat ” , “ew I think that doesn’t suit you , your boobs are bigger” …..  She had enough of being compared to her beautiful friends , sisters and specially to CELEBRITIES by people. She starved herself until she gets sick .   Nobody did not know the trauma she was undergoing.  She was sick both mentally and physically.  

One night a random person found her body unconsciously lying on the road , dripping blood from all over her body and she was admitted to the hospital immediately.   Everyone who criticised her and made her feel worthless gatherd. They sighed and cried but she has gone somewhere far from this cruel world. Her personal notes in her phone gave the proofs that she was about to start a new life from tomorrow . First note was “Tomorrow 7.00 am Going to the gym” then the second note was “Healthy diet plan”.  
Moral = You don’t know what would happen at the end so be nice to everyone and make them feel they are worthy to be loved and lived . 🌷

New version of me through writing and reading

As I’m busy with my final exam of school I don’t have time to write a lot. But I’m willing to share my journey of writing and what made me write.  It’s been a month for my blog and I have few followers who like my blogs and comment. First  I really appreciate everyone who reads , likes comments on them . They encourage me to write something new.  Also I’m glad to share my  works with everyone. 

I would like to tell everyone what made me start a blog and write.

Few months ago I was lost in my thoughts . I struggled to find a path for my future. I had a lower self esteem of me . But there was a one good habit I’m continuing since I was a kid. That is “Reading” .  I have never thought of writing but one day I saw a poetry blog and it made a huge impact on me in a positive way. I began to write . First it seemed to be weird since my mother language is not English. When I began to write , my love for English literature increased.  I failed English literature last year but now I’m glad that I’m handling it well.  “Writing” and “Reading”  turned me into a completely new person with positive attitudes. 

There’s my best friend behind me to encourage me and show me what I’m lacking in my writings . 
You may feel your world is falling apart. Take a breath and think what you can do for your life. You are the guardian of your life. Don’t let depression ruin your life. Find what you love and do it . Then You will be amazingly happy.  Only you can create your own life . 

Good luck everyone ! Happy Blogging ! 

Unexpressed feelings.

When the heart aches , my pen is the one that bleeds my pain . 

When the whole world reject me , paper is the one who listens to me

When I’m  alone books bring me the happiness I’m craving for 

My soul is hidden behind a book .. and I bleed my pain on a paper with words.

Truth of life .

IMG_20170603_000504You may love your best friend / friends or whoever the partner in your life. But the truth is none of them really bother about you. The attachment between you and another person is made by attraction , common interests .  It’s your life. You fall down, then you cry not anyone else feels the pain . You have to bear the loneliness , you have to bear the pain and everything. You live for you and don’t entertain anyone. There’s​ no one who really understands your problems. Everyone listens to reply . They don’t actually listen. But sometimes all you need is someone who listens till the end and hug you. It is far more pleasing than a wise reply. Life becomes good when you suround yourself with people you love. But never depend on anyone of them. Everything is temporary . You better create your own happiness within you ! That’s what being amazingly independent.

My prayers..

Dear god take all the animals to a safer place and let them live free …

Dear god take them to a place where humans cannot see them again

I imagine they smile in their own world neither with fear nor with pain ….. Yes a one Genuine happy smile on their faces. 

After all …Dear god … Let me be the guardian of animals . 

To my dear old friend .

IMG_20170524_015411.jpgIt’s true that we don’t talk anymore ……even though you want to talk .

Your words did not match your actions . To you i was always a stoned heart person . Was that the reason you did not bother about my feelings ? How many times i had told you ” it’s not the years or the photos that matters . ”  I agree the fact that i was rude but it did not prevent me from looking after you.  I gave my heart to you but you did not keep promises so it broke into little pieces .  One day , after fighting with my heart for months … I decided to take my heart back. That was the day i decided to walk away from you .  No hate , no regrets  but wishes you all the best .  I see you have replaced so many new best friends . It is evident that you can live without me and losing me is not such a matter to you. Still I’m lonely but I swear i don’t wait for a best friend anymore. Because i have had enough.