Don’t create “The Woman”

Throughout the Asian culture women are created . Women are expected. But why ? Women are expected to be good wives, good mothers. In our culture women are expected to be the perfect replica of a “Pure Goddess” .
Since a little girl is born she is taught to take care of house , her family while her brothers are taught how to count how to write. I think that trend is slowly changing to a better . Still in our culture women are expected not to cross the boundaries which have made by the culture.
Women can be strong. Women are born with the power unfortunately that power is covered with a thing called “Culture” & “Grace” . If a woman went against the culture she’s a “Disgrace” to the “culture” .
Even though parents teach girls , they are more likely to see their daughters become “Teachers” . Why not a “Manager” , a “Pilot” ? Women are created to obey parents , then husband then other men while she has to tolerate all sexual harresment , verbal harresment that cross her path. The conventional idea I still see in 21st century modern world men is , women are born to give birth to children , women are born to please men , satisfy their needs. The most pathetic side of being a strong independent open minded woman in a society like this is she’s misunderstood.
Let her be the person whoever she wishes to be.

-Rachi-

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A little review of my favourite episode story FRMME FETALE. 

WHY I’M SO MUCH OBSESSED WITH THE STORY FEMME FATALE.
I never thought of reading this story on episode as I felt I would not going to like some action stories with lots of fights. But this story hit the bottom of my both mind and heart since the moment I clicked on this story. 

The woman femme fatale was a well trained assassin by the most famous Italian mafia “Mala del Brenta” . The heroine of the story is twenty four years old , a very beautiful , elegant young lady with Alexandria genes which means her purple eyes . Our heroine is a strong , independent woman who lives by herself. Although the horrors of past on the day she found her whole family was murdered still haunts her she is stone cold hearted woman. She emotionally doesn’t depend on men. The main thing she gets my attention is that her strong , independent yet feminine personality. As a woman her ability to drive a jet is strikingly amazing. She is pretty good at guns just as men. You could hate for being an assassin but she got a big heart yet she doesn’t wear her heart upon her sleeve until Lucas comes to her life. If anything changed her life for better that’s where she meets Lucas on a mission of assassinating Tristan Evergreen. Although some genuine feelings for Tristan grew up in her , she knew that right from the beginning a fragile person like Lucas would understand her better than Tristan Evergreen would ever do. Both Lucas and Femme fatale were fragailed. Another reason why I’m so head over heels in love with this story is Lucas. Lucas is twenty eight years old strikingly handsome and hot. He is the Raven which means the male version of femme fatale. Despite his charms , raven is really a gentleman . He is dangerous yet the most suitable man for fatale.  His power of seduction affects a lot on femme fatale to the extent she falls in love with him . The way Raven takes the control is amazing and as the reader even I’m head over heels love with Lucas. He is  a combination of sweetness, gentleness , hotness . The way he protects femme fatale is amazing. Lucas is obviously a charmer yet he’s so husband material.  It’s amazing how a dangerous gang leader , a Raven could turn into a simply amazing husband.

THE DISTRACTION (Short Story ) 

I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. I walked to the balcony as I didn’t want to wake him up.  

“Yes I’m coming to the headquarters today” 

“I’m done”. 

I hung up the phone and stepped in to the kitchen . Last night was like a dream . I still remember how it felt Daniel’s well shaped mascular body against mine. His lips were biteable and his body was touchable. The night went blur as I crawled into his arms. 

“God ! You’re amazing ” he wispherd in my ears. 

I felt as my cheeks burning . “Stop it idiot you are not supposed to have feelings for him it would be a distraction” I said myself  smiling alone.  Seeing his peaceful sleeping face made me think how cute he is. “Fine Rachelle you can’t drool over him ” I had to say it to myself again and again.  

“Good morning beautiful” Danielle came closer to me with a cocky smile on his face. He pulled me in and gave me a long passionate kiss. 

I smiled weakly and pushed him aside. 

“This is not like you Rachelle. What’s bothering you ” asked Danielle squeezing my hand. 

“I need to go to the hospital my brother needs me “. 

“I’m coming with you Rachelle”

“Please don’t I really need space right now”. I said with a melancholy voice. 

“Please be safe” said Danielle weakly smiling. 

I slammed the door behind me and got in the car. I drove as fast as I can to the headquarters. 

Romano welcomed me smiling . “Well done Rachelle I’m proud of you”. 

“I’m flattered” I said annoyingly and looked out to see if someone is coming.

“Jay has been able to broke into Danielle’s house and get his documents while you were distracting him”  said Romano not letting me to be quite for a moment.

“Yes I know that’s what he was supposed to do”. I said angrily .

The next moment I turned around I saw jay smiling. 

“Well done both of you . We are done with your payments. Feel free to go. Said Romano and he left taking the documents from jay. 

“Rachelle you should be careful. We know what Danielle is capable of” said Romano looking back again.

” Like I didn’t know” I said furiously. 

Now it’s me and jay alone. An awkward silent went between us. 

” So how did it go with Danielle? ” Asked jay looking deep into my eyes . 

I knew he was not happy that I had to sleep with him. Even though we are not dating there’s a chemistry between us. The heat is getting bigger and I can’t resist him but I can’t let a man to destroy my life again. 

“It went ok I guess” I said looking away.

“You’re a bad liar Rachelle . I know you enjoyed his company” 

“As if you didn’t enjoy Sonia’s company” I said it in a most sarcastic tone .

Of course he is jealous as much as I’m…

He looked away. I noticed tears in his eyes.  He walked out . No goodbyes , no goodbye kisses. 

I felt as if  my heart was shattered.

                                  …………………………………………………………………………………….

I was in a hospital room when I woke up. I remember I was driving and a black defender was coming towards my car. My head hurts as if someone cuts my scalp into tiny pieces.

“Miss you shouldn’t be out of bed please get in the bed” said a young nurse. She helped me to get back to bed. 

“How are you feeling now miss?” She asked kindly. ” Who brought me here” . I’m definitely not fine so I wanted to know something I don’t know. ” A random person had found your body lying on the road and he took you to the hospital but he said he would like to remain anonymous. I didn’t bother who brought me here. But I need to get out of hospital soon. ” Am I allowed to go home?”

“Sorry Miss you need to be here . Although your wounds are not mortal you still need medicine to recover.” 

I asked the nurse to switch on the TV as she was leaving the room.   I was looking at the city through window and I looked at the TV as I heard my name. Police found that a girl named Rachelle died in a car accident and her body is unrecognisable due to burning . That’s my car they are showing. I pinched myself to make sure that I’m not dead or dreaming. Somebody wants me to die. I know who could it be…..

My thoughts are disturbed by the nurse .”Miss may I know your name and the address ? ” 

I looked at the TV and I let world believe I’m dead. ” I’m savannah . Savannah Morello” .

“Miss Do you want me to inform your family ? ” 

“No thank you. I live by myself” . I said it avoiding eye contact with the nurse. Before she asks anything else I closed my eyes indicating the nurse that I need to sleep. 

As I was discharged after two weeks I went back to my house and collected my belongings and credit cards. I made sure to disguise myself to prevent somebody noticing me again .  The next moment I was in a flight, flying far away from California . I was thinking how hard my life was. I was all alone since the day I was born. I wish my mother never died giving me birth. I hate men since the day my own father sold me to a brothel . I’m grateful for Romano that he rescued me from that hell , yet I had to be his puppet. I was trained. I did everything he asked. He was the only family I got after all. I was always safe because I was working to Mafia and they never let me down. I have killed so many yet I never regret.  But assassinating Danielle changed my life. Jay was appointed by Romano to help the mission while I distract Danielle.  But jay was my distraction. His gentleness and sweetness made me fall for him . I felt I’m living again when he came to my life. Even though I don’t let anyone to be in my life I can’t resist jay. His voice is like the music to me. But I need to move on now . I sighed deeply. I can move on since I have a fake ID and passport but I my heart only begs for jay.  What’s the meaning of this life ? No family ! No friends !  . Again it’s me and myself all alone…………

As I arrived Switzerland first thing I did was find a home to live far away from town. I forgot how miserable my life is for a little moment. The atmosphere is breathtakingly beautiful. That feeling of breeze and smell of beautiful flowers took my melancholic mood for awhile.  

                ………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

I tried to wash away all my pain and horrors of past. Now they don’t hurt as much as it hurt me at the beginning. It’s been an year since the day I left America. Still I didn’t hear a word from jay. I decided to continue my life with what I have. I became a language teacher at the church to keep myself occupied. Being called “teacher” made me happy. I miss jay so much but little kids and their love make me want to live again. Their smile makes me think of my own children and family which is never going to happen.  I smile every day just like a flower blooms every morning after a stormy night. 
                ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
I woke up to a dream of jay kissing my forehead.  I sighed alone and got ready to go to the church. As I was done with teaching I headed back to my house. I saw a black Audi is in front of my house. I entered the house with the suspicion of a murderer attacking me. As I realised there’s nobody in the living room I stepped in to the kitchen suddenly someone grabbed me from my back and pulled me closer to him. I went speechless in fear. 

“Shhhh it’s me” said an familiar voice . I turned back . 

“JAY !!!! ” 

I didn’t know what I really felt when I saw him . I pulled him in to a tight hug and cried leaning on his chest until the last drop of my tears come out. 

“You don’t have to get my T-shirt wet to show your affection ” said jay laughing . 

I giggled as he said it. Jay and his humour never go away. 

“See something you like” said he smiling gently at me.

I was speechless. If only he knew how happy I’m to see him . 

“I Missed you a lot Rachelle”

“So that’s why you took an year to come ” I said punching softly on his arm.

“If only you knew Rachelle. I have been watching you since the day you were hit by the car , since the day you left America.   I made it appears that you were dead to protect you from Danielle .  I gave you the space to recover. I wanted you to stand on your feet again ” 

He pulled me into a tight hug again.

“Jay please never leave me” 

I wispherd in his ears . His long passionate kiss made a shiver goes down in my spine . 

He kneeled down in front of me and took my hand .

 “Rachelle will you be my amazing  wife for the rest of my life ” 
” I will be the wife to the most amazing man”  I said shedding happy tears.

The ugly duck

“You should lose some weight dear” 

“You look fat in that dress” 

“Hey fatty”

“Lol look at this ugly face”

“Wow your friends are so sexy”

“Yeah you look OK dear” 

These are the comment she heard throughout her life . She was silent. Actually she silently sighed . Every night she cried herself to sleep. Every morning she stared at mirror . She hesitated to wear the sexy swimsuit she was dreaming to wear. She didn’t buy that mini dress she was willing to buy because she didn’t want to be heard “oh you’re fat ,mini dresses don’t suit you” . She gave up wearing shorts . She decided to wear baggies which made her look more matured. Then people said “you look so matured” “damn are you still 21? I thought you are 30″ …..

No matter what she wore people had something to tell her. She didn’t feel special. She gave up shopping , which was her favourite habit.  She was craving to be heard ” girl you look nice” “I like your smile it makes you pretty “.  Instead she had to hear “You got double chin ” , “Hey Don’t wear tight shirts you have ugly back fat ” , “ew I think that doesn’t suit you , your boobs are bigger” …..  She had enough of being compared to her beautiful friends , sisters and specially to CELEBRITIES by people. She starved herself until she gets sick .   Nobody did not know the trauma she was undergoing.  She was sick both mentally and physically.  

One night a random person found her body unconsciously lying on the road , dripping blood from all over her body and she was admitted to the hospital immediately.   Everyone who criticised her and made her feel worthless gatherd. They sighed and cried but she has gone somewhere far from this cruel world. Her personal notes in her phone gave the proofs that she was about to start a new life from tomorrow . First note was “Tomorrow 7.00 am Going to the gym” then the second note was “Healthy diet plan”.  
Moral = You don’t know what would happen at the end so be nice to everyone and make them feel they are worthy to be loved and lived . 🌷

New version of me through writing and reading

As I’m busy with my final exam of school I don’t have time to write a lot. But I’m willing to share my journey of writing and what made me write.  It’s been a month for my blog and I have few followers who like my blogs and comment. First  I really appreciate everyone who reads , likes comments on them . They encourage me to write something new.  Also I’m glad to share my  works with everyone. 

I would like to tell everyone what made me start a blog and write.

Few months ago I was lost in my thoughts . I struggled to find a path for my future. I had a lower self esteem of me . But there was a one good habit I’m continuing since I was a kid. That is “Reading” .  I have never thought of writing but one day I saw a poetry blog and it made a huge impact on me in a positive way. I began to write . First it seemed to be weird since my mother language is not English. When I began to write , my love for English literature increased.  I failed English literature last year but now I’m glad that I’m handling it well.  “Writing” and “Reading”  turned me into a completely new person with positive attitudes. 

There’s my best friend behind me to encourage me and show me what I’m lacking in my writings . 
You may feel your world is falling apart. Take a breath and think what you can do for your life. You are the guardian of your life. Don’t let depression ruin your life. Find what you love and do it . Then You will be amazingly happy.  Only you can create your own life . 

Good luck everyone ! Happy Blogging ! 

Unexpressed feelings.

When the heart aches , my pen is the one that bleeds my pain . 

When the whole world reject me , paper is the one who listens to me

When I’m  alone books bring me the happiness I’m craving for 

My soul is hidden behind a book .. and I bleed my pain on a paper with words.